There are days I just feel legitimately crazy.
I spent an hour sitting here reading with the distinct and clear feeling my entire body was out of proportion. Arms longer than usual, hangs and fingers ginormous and swollen, feet completely gone. And when I looked at my body from where I was sitting, I saw it like that.
I can’t think about me speaking outloud without a premonition of physical destruction. Things breaking just because words leave my mouth. And trying to text somebody my feelings, I feel as if I’m actually damaging our friendship doing so.
Not to mention I lost track of time three or four times today. And not just this whole “Oh my, time when by so fast”. More like I look at the clock and it’s 6:40 and I look back later and it’s 5:20 and my phone confirms it.
And that feeling of heart racing, blooding pumping terror you get when you think something is in the room watching you? Yup, had that.
But it’s mostly ok because I read another book by Carlos Ruiz Zaf
ón today and he’s my favorite author.