Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book 
The Onion cracks me up again.
‘completing chapter after chapter, seemingly of his own free will.’
‘It’d be nice to read it again at some point,” Meyer continued, as if that were a perfectly natural thing to say.’
Would be funnier if people I know didn’t treat me like this:
‘Mr. Meyer, unlike most healthy males, looks to books for gratification,” Schulz said. “Really, it’s a classic case of deviant behavior.”